Clouds Of Fate
by mirrorshade
Summary: Cloud is told a fatal secret by Sephiroth, that Cloud will join him in the lifestream in a matter of days. Slash! VinceCloud
1. Finding Out I

My Cloud seems to be a little crazy...but I suppose he would be. This is a cleaned up version of my old story. It looks neater, and my grammar is better in this one. Completely unrelated titled too. Watch out for the Vincent/Cloud!!!

Chapter 1

I breathed a sigh if relief as I slumped on board the Highwind. Everything ached after the battle and I was vaguely aware of the fact that I was still clutching my sword in my hand. I glanced up and tried to focus on Barret as he spoke to me.

"Hmm?" I managed.

"I asked if you were alright" He repeated. Mentally, I snorted. I was never going to be all right. I just shrugged and gave him a tired half-smile.

Seemingly satisfied, he stood up and I barely noticed him leave the room. I waited for a couple of moments until I was satisfied that he was out of earshot, and then let out a harsh laugh.

"I wonder what they'll think when they find out" I pondered aloud. I had been in denial when Sephiroth told me, but I suppose I got used to the idea, and they'll just have to as well.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and struggled upright. I walked down the stairs, wondering how I was going to explain to them...

"Morning, Cloud, sir!" A voice said. I found that one of the ship's engineers was watching me. I raised an eyebrow, gesturing to the dark sky.

"Morning?" I repeated. He smiled cheerfully in reply.

"It's 2:00 in the morning" I nodded.

"Thanks" He smiled again and I turned away. Moving quietly, I could hear Cid and Barrett talking in the next room.

"What do you think is up with Strife?" I heard Barret ask.

"He's been acting odd ever since..." I couldn't hear what Cid replied. I didn't really need to. I took a few steps back and stamped down hard. I gave them a few seconds then entered the room. I stopped in front of them and waited for the inevitable. I didn't say anything, neither did they. I closed my eyes and waited.

"Cloud..." My eyes flickered open and I looked at Cid in interest. I hadn't been expecting anything for a while.

"We've been thinkin'..." I found that watching Barret stumble over his words vastly amusing. I saw that he was looking at me for help but I put on an 'I don't know what you're talking about' look and gestured for him to carry on. After a few moments of Barrett's nervous mumbles I interrupted him.

"You want to know what's wrong" I stated. He nodded gratefully. I paused. I didn't want to say. I just wanted to be left to my own devices until the end...I know they wouldn't let me though. They're annoying in that way, especially Tifa.

"You...you know that Hojo created me?" I spat the name out. I would never be able to forgive Hojo for what he did. They both nodded.

"Well, a while ago I found out that Jenova cells are...very in tune with their 'mother'. They always know where she is and if" I swallowed "she's dying."

"What's that got to do with you?" Cid asked. He lit up another cigarette and flicked the ash away.

"The cells can't survive on their own. They seem to draw off Jenova for life"

"You mean..." Barrett trailed off. I nodded.

"The cells in my body...they're dying now that Jenova's gone"

"But that won't affect you, right?" Cid demanded.

"If the cells had been recent, I wouldn't be affected but...in that experiment...the cells were fused with my body...they're part of me, I can't survive without them" I watched them as comprehension dawned on their   
faces.

"Strife..." I looked Cid full in the eye.

"I'm dying"


	2. Finding Out II

I apologise in advance if the characters are somewhat...OOC, I suppose. Don't own Final Fantasy, and I never will, either.

Chapter 2

I barely noticed when Barrett stole up behind me and rested his hand on my shoulder I smiled faintly at him. We had just pulled up at Kalm and I was slumped over the rail outside, wondering distantly what time it was. I could always drag myself up and go ask one of the crew but I couldn't be bothered to make the effort.

"Let's go" He muttered. I nodded and we strode into the small town, leaving the crew to repair the damage the Highwind had taken.

"Hey Strife" I turned to look at Cid who was standing slightly behind us. "Who knows?"

"Hojo, Aeris and Tifa" I winced "So just Tifa now"

"They'll all be well informed then. That woman can never shut up" I smirked. Tifa would talk endlessly if you let her.

"Cloud!" A voice shrieked.

I winced again and I was nearly knocked over when Tifa jumped up and wrapped her arms around my neck. I patted her back, trying not to roll my eyes as I did so. Yuffie grinned like a Cheshire cat who had just been offered a lifetime's supply of catnip and Red XIII rubbed against my hand, purring gently. I was dragged by my arm (which I was slowly starting to lose the feeling in) towards the inn when I turned to Tifa, who was happily clinging to my arm chatting ceaselessly, oblivious to the fact I was not interested in her or whatever she was talking about.

"Tifa?"

"Mmmm?" She smiled faintly. It was then I noticed that everyone seemed...sad. Yuffie was not having arguments with Red in Wutaian and she didn't seem bothered enough to start one. I frowned at Tifa who shrugged helplessly.

"I had to tell them" she whispered "They deserve to know" I sighed again.

"Saves me the bother then" I replied and turned my attention back to Yuffie. She wasn't even trying to remove Vincent's materia...speaking of which, where was Vincent? I hadn't seen him since I left...

"Tifa, where's Vincent?" she frowned slightly, and I couldn't tell whether she was thinking or if she was just annoyed.

"Up in the cliffs" she said at last "watching for monsters"

I nodded my thanks and as the others trooped into the inn I headed towards the cliffs on the North side of the small town. I scanned the rocks for a familiar dark figure. I leaned against a wall facing the cliff, knowing he would find me sooner or later. Sure enough, he dropped beside me and I smiled up into crimson eyes. The sad, distant look he always had seemed to have intensified since I had last spoken to him. I rested my hand on his cheek and he started slightly. The dark look fled and he smiled.

"If I'm not mistaken, I think that Vincent Valentine is smiling! I might die of shock!" I said in mock astonishment.

"I might do more than that" he murmured. He leaned downwards and I reached up and then...

"Guys!" Tifa. Damn. I whirled around to see her skipping towards us. She stopped and watched us curiously. She seemed about to ask a question but she just shrugged

"Could you come to the inn?" she asked, but before I could answer she had turned and was out of hearing range.

I turned to Vincent who also shrugged then headed back up the cliff. He seemed to have developed claustrophobia (probably the after-effect of being stuck in a coffin for years) and the inn wasn't his favourite place. He followed Tifa to the inn, waiting for the 'why didn't you tell us before?' lecture as I stepped inside. Instead, they were gathered around a table, discussing something. I stood next to Yuffie, which turned out to be a mistake as it took an hour and a half to get my KOTR materia back.

"We're talking about what to do...hey that's mine!" she whispered as I removed Cid's comet materia from her possession.

"I'm going back to Midgar" Barrett said "Help rebuild it"

"Shera would never forgive me if I didn't go and see her" Cid grumbled. I coughed and he glared at me "Shut up, Strife"

"I'm going to defend Cosmo Canyon just like my father did!" Red (or Nanaki, as we should call him) announced proudly.

"I'm gonna get loads of materia for my people!" Yuffie said, stealing most of Barrett's as she did so.

"I'll stay here. I can open up 7th Heaven again. It won't be too hard" Tifa mused. She then looked over at me. "What about you, Cloud?"

"I'll wander. I don't really have a home and I can't go back to Nibelheim" I shook my head. "It's not the same anymore"

"You could come with me" Tifa offered. I glanced at her, and I was about to make a nasty reply when I realised that she was just worried. "I'll think about it" I managed, knowing I wouldn't. Everyone nodded and either went outside or upstairs to rest. Tifa sat on the table and watched me thoughtfully. I looked at her.

"Are you sure you're alright, Cloud?" Tifa asked. "I'm fine" I replied. She nodded, satisfied, and went upstairs.

'For now' I whispered to myself.

It was very dark now, as I made my way up to Vincent's lookout point. I was sat facing the sea, cloak flapping behind him. I seated myself next to him, and one of his eyebrows twitched in acknowledgement. The silence went on for several minutes before he decided to speak.

"They're dead set on saving you" he glanced at me and I sighed in exasperation.

"Why can't they accept that they can't do anything?" I grumbled. I twitched slightly as I felt Vincent get extremely angry. I frowned, then blinked worriedly at his still stoic fury.

"What do you feel?" He asked me finally. I blinked at the odd question. What did I feel? I was struggling to answer when a sentence from my precious few real memories waded to the surface.

_/ Stop acting as if you were sad. There's no need to act as though you're angry either. Because, Cloud, you are.../_

I shook my head. If he was right then what did I feel about Vincent? I was about to reply when another comment from Sephiroth resurfaced.

_/You are a puppet. You have no heart and cannot feel any pain/_

I began to shake that thought off but I hesitated.

What if he had been right? What if I really am just another unfeeling creation of Hojo's? I was certainly treated and used like a puppet by Sephiroth and his 'mother'.

But...I felt pain when Aeris died...at least...I thought I did. I hate myself for that. For letting Aeris die. I hate myself for letting Sephiroth control me. If I had been stronger I could have done something earlier. But I didn't. So now hundreds of innocent people are dead because I gave Sephiroth the black materia. He didn't take it by force, he didn't have to. He just got one of his unknowing 'puppets' to do his dirty work and give him the prize. Everyone thinks I'm a hero, but I was the one that started it all. I started it, and it cost us the last survivor of an ancient race to stop it. Aeris...everyone probably hates me for not saving her too, or even dragging her into this in the first place...

"Cloud?" the cool voice startled me out of my thoughts and I focused on Vincent's face to stop myself slipping into them again.

"Sorry" I looked away to see a sliver of pure gold break the dark sky in the east. "Lost in my thoughts I guess"

"You still blame yourself, don't you" It was a statement, not a question. I frowned at him.

"Of course I do! It's my fault anyway!" I snapped. "If I won't take the blame, who will?"

"Nobody wants you to take the blame for others' actions" He said, unbothered by the fact that my materia were glowing in my slots, reacting to the surge of mako my frustration had brought on.

"Others' actions? I echoed. I laughed bitterly "My actions, you mean"

"Cloud..." I barely heard the whisper over the several voices in my head telling me it was my fault, and not to listen.

"If I hadn't given him the materia, Midgar might not have been destroyed and Aeris would still be alive"

"If you had not given it to him, one of the other clones would have done" He said reasonably. His logic only made it worse.

"If I had taken care of Hojo when I had the chance, there wouldn't be any clones" I retorted. Vincent fell silent and I twisted round so I could see him properly. He was watching the sunrise with a detached interest; his face had been carefully schooled into a mask of nonchalance and it was impossible to know what he was really thinking.

"Izuku to mo mi wo yaru kata no shirareneba ushi to mitsutsu mo nagarauru kana" I murmured, more to myself than to anyone else.

"You have done what you wanted to do. What else is there?" He sounded genuinely curious. I shrugged.

"I can't sit around and do nothing...and it's not like I haven't got a time limit" I said grimly. He brushed raven strands out of his eyes and I watched appreciatively as his eyes twinkled as the light hit them. I flinched as a sharp pain seared through me. I had been standing up and Vincent was supporting me before I realised that I had staggered and nearly fallen.

"What..." he asked, though he knew what I was going to say.

"I don't have much time" I smiled into blood red eyes before darkness rushed in.

------------------

'Izuku to mo mi wo yaru kata no shirareneba ushi to mitsutsu mo nagarauru kana' translates to 'Which way should I go? Where should I put myself? Not knowing the answer, I continue wearily existing'. I thought it suited the purpose; I took the quote from Liza Dalby's book, The Tale of Murasaki.


	3. Loyalty

I don't own FF7 or anything...blinks, then sobs Leave me be! Vincent/Cloud because I feel like it. Don't like don't read. The ANGST!!!! THE ANGST!!!

Chapter 3

I opened my eyes, wincing as the light made my eyes sting. I hissed and shut my eyes again, turning my face away as much as I could.

"Stupid" I muttered, sitting up properly. I froze, praying that I wasn't in a hospital, and then relaxing when I remembered that Kalm didn't even HAVE a hospital. I slowly opened my eyes again, glaring at the open curtains in the window.

"Stupid" I repeated, whimpering quietly as a sickening pain ran down my spine. I sighed, and passed out.

I first became aware of someone else in the room, when I came round. I opened my eyes slightly, attempting to focus on the blur of black and red at the corner of my vision.

"Hey" I whispered. He raised his head and half-smiled at me, though I could tell he was annoyed.

"How do you feel?" He asked, straightening up slightly.

"How do I look?" He tilted his head on one side, looking at me consideringly.

"Like shit" I would have laughed at his blunt reply, if everything hadn't hurt so much. 'So like Vincent'.

"That's how I feel then" I replied. I managed to focus on him at last, helped by the small light on the table. Somebody had shut the curtains, for which I was grateful.

"Why?" He asked, voice quiet by still audible. I frowned at him, trying to work out what he was talking about.

"You know why. Hojo and his desire to play God"

"Why have you given up hope?" He sounded...desperate, almost. It was a tone I rarely heard in Vincent's voice, because he always knew what to do.

"There was none to begin with. I might as well resign myself to what will ultimately happen" I grabbed my shoulders, shaking me lightly.

"You can at least try" He snapped. As I watched, frustration reared up in usually professionally blank eyes. His voice had risen too.

"If you want me to" I smiled at him "For you, I'll try" He smiled back, a genuine one, though it wasn't completely unguarded. He hadn't opened up completely yet.

"You better" He murmured, voice back to its normal quiet baritone. He leaned forward, and I allowed my eyes to flicker half shut. As out lips met, I moaned slightly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he pulled away. He raised his eyebrows and smirked. Where he doesn't smile very often, he can and does smirk. A lot.

"You seem to have recovered quickly" He mused. I fluttered my eyelashes at him.

"Especially for you, my beloved gunman" I smiled at him. He nodded slightly, gave me another chaste kiss and stood.

"You best get changed" He padded silently to the door then tossed over his shoulder "They want to speak to you about something"

"Vincent..." He turned at my whisper, waiting for me to finish "Thank you". He nodded quietly and slipped out of the door. After he had left I smiled broadly, amazed that someone like Vincent would want anything to do with me.

As I got out of the bed, I realised that the only things I was wearing were boxers. I searched the room for a minute, until I discovered a neatly folded uniform, with a note on top. I read it, barely recognising the curly handwriting.

_'Cloud, I thought you might be needing this, so I got it washed. Tifa'_

I smiled, making a mental note to thank Tifa later. She may be annoying some of the time, but her intentions were good. I slipped on the uniform, wondering when I was going to stop wearing it, since I wasn't nor would ever be a SOLDIER, even if I had the mind of one. Shaking the thought off, I grabbed my sword and pushed the door open, descending the stairs to where the others were waiting.

They smiled at me when I entered, though a couple of them glanced uncertainly at each other. I leaned in the door frame, waiting for them to speak.

"Cloud, we thought that...we could try to find some files...and figure this out..." Tifa scuffed her foot on the ground, peering up at him through her dark hair.

"You wanted to go back to Nibelheim" I finished for her. They all nodded. I found their fear slightly amusing, but it hurt at the same time.

"We're too stubborn to let you die on us with a fight, Spike" Cid grumbled, lighting up another cigarette.

"You should have known we wouldn't" Yuffie piped up. The Wutaian princess' ever-cheery attitude not wavering for a second.

"Damn right" Barret growled, thumping his fist on the counter, making the innkeeper jump. I smiled, not being able to suppress it. I **should** have known better. I've never seen these people let up more than once for all the time I've been with them. I was reminded again that I wouldn't find a more tough, spirited and loyal group of people anywhere.

"Fine" I said, holding my hands up in defeat, meeting Vincent's eyes "To Nibelheim it is then"


	4. Memories of the Past

Don't own. Let's just leave it at that, shall we?

Chapter 4

I felt a distinct sense of foreboding as we approached Shinra mansion. I had mentioned it to Nanaki, and he had told me he felt it too. He had also added that maybe a part of my mind was apprehensive of going back into the place where I had lost so much. I had nodded in agreement, before taking the lead.

"Planet, this place hasn't changed in the slightest" I observed, shivering at the memories. I glanced around at Vincent, who was frowning. Deciding not to disturb him, I led the way to the staircase.

Searching the wall for the crack, I thought back to the first time I had done this. Sephiroth had been in the basement, trying to work out who he really was. _What _he really was. Jenova...it was her fault that they had both ended up like this. Both he had Sephiroth were more similar than he liked to admit. They-

"Got it" I hissed, temporarily distracted by the door. Nearly everyone jumped, that I could see. Nanaki merely looked at the stairs apprehensively, while I couldn't see Vincent. Wondering briefly if Vincent had left, and then dismissing it, I nodded for everyone to follow me.

"Kuraudo, are you alright?" Yuffie asked, tugging gently on my sleeve. I blinked as I realised she had slipped back into Wutaian, calling me by their interpretation of my name.

"Hai. Arigatou, Yuffie" I replied. She grinned happily at the use (albeit small) of her native language and hugged me. I nearly tripped down the last few steps from the force of it. I smiled anyway and ruffled her hair, to which she screeched and attempted to flatten it. I felt a bit more relaxed for a second. Yuffie's cheery-tempered-with-kindness attitude could do that to anyone.

I set out down the corridor, cringing at the memories these walls contained. By now I was seriously thinking that Vincent had stayed outside. Not that I could blame. He had as many horrific memories of this place as I did. I nudged the door upon, cringing at the sight. I glanced back at the party that had come with me. Yuffie, Tifa, Cid and a now missing Vincent.

"Well, Cloud?" Tifa asked softly from her position in the doorframe. I turned to them.

"Yuffie, Cid, take care of any monsters. Tifa, you come with me" They all nodded and Tifa followed me as I went towards the bookcases.

"See if there are any books on effects of Mako and Jenova on living organisms" I told her, ignoring the odd look she sent me.

As I searched the piles on the floor, my mind dragged me back to the thought process of earlier.

'You're the same as Sephiroth' A part of my mind hissed 'You're both creatures, with no future. Look at what you've done. You **both** deserve to die'

"No. I'm not like him!" I muttered to myself. I felt a headache begin and rubbed my temples. It didn't help that the distinct smell of mako assaulting my more acute senses was making me nauseous. Tifa, Yuffie and Cid weren't bothered by it, but Tifa noticed my expression.

"We'd best get out of here soon. Even if we can't smell the mako doesn't mean it won't affect us" She observed, not aiming this comment at me. Glancing at the book I held, I memorised a paragraph that sounded useful and straightened up. I hadn't noticed how long we had been here, but the cramp in my legs informed me clear enough.

"Cloud? You ready to-" She was cut off by a beastial roar. We both ran outside, to find YinYang advancing on us from all sides. Cid and Yuffie were struggling to hold back the waves of monsters as we joined them. We stood back to back, trying to attack and cast spells at the same time.

"Where the hell did they all come from?" Cid growled, knocking them back slightly with his limit break. He finished off the attack with a stream of swearing.

"Yuffie!" She twisted around "We're gonna need help if we want to get out of this in one piece!" She nodded, leaped clear of the battle and started tapping furiously on her PHS. I grimaced as Tifa was thrown against the wall. Ducking under an attack, I cast a Phoenix Down in her direction and swung around just it time to prevent myself being killed. Tifa, now back on her feet was pushing them back, along with Cid and Yuffie.

"Trying to get killed already, Strife?" Somebody yelled from the stairs. I hid a grin and mock-scowled at Barret.

"Are you going to stand there all day or help?" I yelled back. He grinned and started firing from his safe position. I hissed in pain as a YinYang dragged it claws along my outstretched arm as I swung. I managed to twist round and kill it, jumping back as its acid-like blood dripped to the floor.

Now that I could concentrate properly, I heard the sound of two guns firing. I saw Barret and Vincent taking care of the last few YinYang. I went over to Tifa, who was sitting on the floor, my uninjured hand. She smiled brightly and took it, noting the blood on my shirt.

"Cloud, you're hurt!" She exclaimed. I extended my arm, wincing at the marks. She gasped quietly, reaching into the pack on her back. She frowned as she searched it.

"I haven't got any potions. This'll have to do" She produced a bandage and some salve out of her bag. I watched her apply it without wincing. I watched the others carefully. None of them seeming to be badly hurt, seeing that both Cid and Barret were chasing a laughing Yuffie down the corridor.

"There" I smiled gratefully at her.

"Thanks Tifa" She smiled back, packing up her bag. I followed her to the others, folding my arms.

"Well, that was certainly entertaining" I commented. Yuffie grinned, jumping from foot to foot.

"Yeah! You both woulda gotten your asses kicked if I wasn't here!" She flashed me a 'v for victory' sign. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Last time I checked, the 'Great Materia Hunter Yuffie' owed me for hauling her out of a fight" I replied. She scowled darkly and muttered something inaudible. She turned and headed up the stairs, giving me a dirty look as she did so.

"Didja find anything, Spike?" Barret asked. I sighed and shook my head.

"Not really. Most of it's just what happens when jenova is injected not how to reverse it. Seems like I'm screwed, doesn't it?" I sighed.

"Best look again Spike. You never know, you might've missed something" Barret suggested. I smiled wearily at him, nodding.

"You can go back up if you want" I paused "It seems like the mansion is completely empty, now" I indicated that I would be fine on my own, and they turned at set off, though Tifa gave me an encouraging smile before leaving.

'Does she still think I love her, I wonder' I pondered, going back into the study. I had a flashback to Sephiroth doing exactly what I was doing. Looking for answers. It didn't help that every step I took, I got a sense of déjà vu.

"Cloud?" I started, turning towards Vincent. He moved slowly, uncomfortable about something. I straightened up slowly, gesturing to the desk. Vincent, however, did not move. I stood quietly, waiting for Vincent to speak, not knowing what was coming.

"I apologise" I frowned at him, not sure I had heard the softly spoken words right.

"What for?" I asked, setting everything down. He lowered his head, raising a hand to his chin. It was a stance I attributed to him thinking, so I kept silent. I could tell he hated this place as much as me, and I got a feeling this was what he was apologising about.

"Vincent...it's about here, isn't it?" I said, gesturing to our surroundings. He hesitated, and I sighed.

"I forgot that you have just as bad recollections of this place as I do" His face displayed annoyance at himself.

"You didn't need to be down here with me. I hate this place too"

"However-" I leaned forward, covering his mouth with mine. In reply he reached up and held me there by the back of my neck.

"Zip it" I stated when we parted "I don't need to hear it"

"But-"

"Ah" I put a finger to his mouth "I don't **need **or **want** to hear it. I can understand you fine. I don't need to know. I don't care. Just...stay here, with me?" I asked him.

"Very well" He smiled, more relaxed now. It never ceased to amaze me how...open he was, when not around the others. I smiled, looking down at the desk. My attention was pulled to a small, leather bound book, the fading letters proclaiming it's subject to the world. I leaned past Vincent, picking it up.

"Gotcha" The book's dulled letters made me smile. I had found what I wanted – for the letters spelled out 'J-E-N-O-V-A'...

-------------------------------

That's why Vincent/Cloud stuff is so great. They understand each other, and can snap the other out of angsty-ness. Plus, it's just damned adorable giggles like the child she is mentally (8 years old)


	5. Loves of Old

I was in a very angsty mood when I wrote this. So have fun reading the results of what happens when I get depressed for no reason whatsoever ; in this chapter I address an important issue: Lucrecia.

'...' is Cloud's thoughts as is /_italics/ _but the italics are for the side of Cloud's consciousness that is insecure, doubtful and cynical. I based it on my own.

-

Chapter 5

I flicked through the book, noting that Hojo's smart hand turned into a madman's scrawl as I progressed towards the end.

Shivering at the obvious account of Hojo's final descent into madness, I tried to block out the harsh lines. Photos dropped out of an open page, and I picked them up, trying not to bend them. There was a formal portrait of the entire Science Research Dep. of Shinra, with Hojo in the middle.

The other photo was a close up of one of the only women scientists, a remarkably pretty one. I recognised her immediately, from Vincent's description. Lucrecia Sonnenfeld. Her coppery hair and unusually gentle brown eyes stood out from the stark white of her lab coat.

I shot a look at Vincent, who was in the doorframe with his back to me, 'looking out' for monsters. He was lost in thought, Death Penalty held loose in his hand. I whistled to get his attention, and I looked down as he glided over, as silent as ever. Not looking up from the book, I handed the picture of Lucrecia to him.

"You said you had no photos of her" I murmured, still not looking up, lest I saw something in his face that would hurt.

"Lucrecia" It was said with a sigh of nostalgia and a note of love. I felt a pang of something, but I couldn't put a name to it. Annoyance? Jealousy?

'Why would I feel jealous of a dead person?'

_/She has more freedom then you. A long-gone woman holds his heart still, and you never will. You'll always come second best next to his beloved Lucrecia_/ I glanced up and winced inwardly at his expression. It was completely open, but not for me. Sadness, admiration, love. He had told me she hadn't loved him, but had done nothing to dissuade me from the idea that he still loved her.

"Vincent?" I asked, keeping my voice as soft as possible. Despite the fact I could hear a small mental voice ranting about me being second best, at the time I couldn't care less. My resolve to snap him out of it wavered when his eyes softened.

I let him be with his memories, turning back to the barely legible writing. I found a part of interest and stopped scanning the page and read, noting the diagrams. I nearly shot across the room when a cool metal hand rested on my shoulder.

"Are you trying to give me a premature death, Valentine?" I thought for a moment "Even more premature then the one I'm going to get?" He said nothing to contradict me, only giving me a me a bitter smirk.

"I forgot how much history I had here" I looked up from my position on the floor. I took his proffered hand and I was pulled to my feet.

"It's all dust and memories now, Vincent. Nothing more".

_/His Lucrecia is just dust and memories, isn't she Cloud? And she still holds sway over him_/ I sighed softly, running my hand over the worn spine of the book as I thought. The cynical, doubtful voice had grown in strength 'But for now, I'll manage'

"Did you find anything?" His smooth voice cut in. His eyes were slightly concerned, while the rest of the face remained blank.

"Mostly about stability, though I don't see how that helps" I shivered again "We'll find something. We always do. Now let's get the hell out of here" He nodded, planting a kiss of my forehead before taking the lead. The gesture, albeit small, lifted my spirits greatly.

"Cloudy-chan!" Yuffie tackled me to the floor as we came out of the mansion "Vincent-chan!" She was warned away by a glare. Only Yuffie would have the guts to refer to Vincent like that and then attempt to hug him. She retreated, still smiling like a 1000-watt light bulb. Unable to resist teasing her, and not wanted to let anybody on to my own personal fears, I covered my eyes with my hands and staggered back.

"The light is blinding me!" I exclaimed, pointing at her smile. She got the idea of what I was talking about and jumped on me again, attempting to pull me to the floor.

"Mean" She whined, letting me up "Serves you right for worrying us, Cloudy-chan". Tifa jogged up, not looking apprehensive at all from the 'stay away or die' look I was giving her.

"Did you find anything?" She asked, clinging to my arm. I noticed Vincent shift; fixing the oblivious Tifa with a look that would've frozen hell.

"It was mostly things about stabilizing the victim" I told her, prying her powerful grip off my arm. My head was standing to pound and it wasn't just the result of the two screeching women. She huffed and turned away, storming into Nibelheim's inn.

My thoughts were elsewhere, though. They centred on Vincent and Lucrecia, and their history. If he discovered a way to bring her back, would he leave me to go to her and stay by her side?

_/Probably/ _

Even if that meant leaving me to die alone?

_/Most likely/_

We had been together little more than a few weeks; he had loved her for years. All rational thought and knowledge of Vincent's character deserted me, and I turned back to him, hoping that he would convince me otherwise. His soft whisper almost made me cry.

"Lucrecia…"

I shut my eyes, blocking out the sight of Vincent, and tried to do the same to my ears. I tried to block out the sound of my breaking heart.

-

Vincent is such a baka. Don't worry kids (and non-kids) it all comes right in the end. I hope so anyway. Even I don't know what's going to happen next, and I'm the author!

(And yes, I've decided that they DO measure energy in watts. I'm having fun thinking up similes for Yuffie. I've also decided that they have a concept of hell too).


	6. Trouble and Chaos or The Midgar Flower

I have had a whole week off, so I've made more progress than usual. You lucky lucky people XD. This time I'm taking care of trouble from last chapter. With a little bit of help from Cloud's flower lady, of course. I don't own FF7, sadly. It and all it's characters belong to Square, who I worship.

-

Chapter 6

"Cid? Do you think you could you fly to Midgar?" He turned from his position at the helm of the Highwind and nodded slowly.

"Any reason why, Spike?" He asked, after giving directions to the crew. I hesitated. If I told him, he'd probably worry even more.

"I have an idea. I want to go to Aeris's church" His expression cleared and he nodded. I smiled gratefully, turning to head outside.

As I walked, I ran over my vague idea in my head. I knew for a fact that the church was one of the few buildings that had survived the destruction of Midgar. I was hoping to get some form of help from Aeris. If she could be found anywhere, if would be at her church. She had told me that the City of Ancients made her uncomfortable, and she had poured her heart into her church.

"Urgh. Hi...Cloud" Yuffie managed as I approached her. Sitting next to her, I offered her a tranquiliser. She nodded her thanks, obviously not trusting her mouth, for which I was grateful. I grimaced at the sharpening ache in my muscles. Obviously my body had decided to alert me to the fact that the Jenova cells were still dying.

"Shit!" The whole ship jerked and both Yuffie and I were thrown forwards. Cid's cursing continued over the ticking of the engine. I sighed, getting up despite the angry protests of my muscles. As I walked back into the cockpit, I was greeted with chaos. The crew was running everywhere, attempting to get the Highwind back on course. Cid was yelling instructions and also helping the crew. I looked around. Vincent stood in a dark corner, staring outside. Everyone was thrown about as the ship jolted again, and I ran to the top deck, gesturing for Cid and Vincent to follow me.

"The hell is that?" A very large, very angry creature was attacking the Highwind, which explained the ship's behaviour. Cid's question was answered when it dropped onto the deck, making the Highwind dip downwards.

It closely resembled the red dragon we had encountered at the 'Temple of Ancients', however it was smaller in height but was covered in long spines. Cid's cursing was now directed at the creature, the cause of the damage to his beloved ship. We all fell into battle stances as it turned its attention to us.

"Big Guard!" The spell was cast by Yuffie, and I smiled gratefully at her. Before running forward to slash at the dragon. It dodged Vincent's bullet and smacked me out of the way. I jumped back, making a mental note to thank Yuffie for the Big Guard. The next few minutes were tense. It dealt out huge amounts of damage to us, and healed itself after whatever we attacked it with. I felt a familiar charge and ran forward again, glowing with my ultimate limit break. I never got a chance to use it.

"Cloud!" I noticed the approaching claw too late. My sword flew in the opposite direction as I was thrown backwards. I gasped in pain as blood splattered on the floor. I pushed myself into a crouched position, bent over the bleeding...and poisoned slash on my chest. The tell-tale marks of poison marked the creature's claws and spines and I hissed angrily. My day was _not _going well. I checked everybody else. Cid was holding up well, dodging the attacks and giving as good as he got. Vincent, however, was starting to glow with his own limit break. A huge tearing sound rent the air as he transformed into Chaos.

"Cloudy-chan, are you okay?" Yuffie leaning over, casting Cure2 and Esuna on the injury, since I only had my Ultima and Slash-all materia equipped. A watched the creature dissipate after one of Chaos' powerful attacks, wincing as I felt the wound heal and the skin pull together. I rose, albeit unsteadily, to my feet.

"Vincent?" I asked warily. He was still in his Chaos form, despite the fact that he had nobody to fight. I hesitated. He had often told me that the fear of doing one of us harm always forced the monsters back, and I didn't understand why it wasn't doing so now. Vincent...no, Chaos snarled, rounding on us and advancing. Cid and Yuffie backed up, reaching for their respective weapons. I stood still, despite the urge to grab my sword.

"Vincent" I repeated, proud that my voice didn't waver. Chaos had somehow managed to overpower my Vincent, forcing Vincent's humanity out of the creature I was confronted with. It reached out and grabbed my upper arms. Claws dug into my arms, and I gritted my teeth, starting as I felt the claws pierce skin. I shook my head at Cid and Yuffie as they started forward. I watched in morbid fascination as my blood ran over Chaos' hands and arms. I gestured for the others to leave.

"I can handle it, trust me" They nodded reluctantly, disappearing downstairs. I grabbed Chaos' shoulders, pulling him down until we were eye to eye.

"Vincent..." I saw something flash in his eyes as he slowly returned to normal. I closed my eyes, feeling his claws pull out of my arms. When I opened them again, Vincent had just finished transforming, and he was blinking in uncharacteristic confusion.

"What..." He glanced at my arms and my blood on his hands. I stared at him, hair falling into my eyes. I shifted my grip to his arms as a new wave of pain from the bottom of my spine made me double over. We slid to the floor, and I resisted the urge to whimper, burying my face into his shoulder. He leaned down, so his mouth was next to my ear. The self-hatred in his voice made we wince again when he spoke.

"Cloud..." And I passed out.

-

I came to slowly. I froze when I realised I was being held by somebody. I opened my eyes, and relaxed when I saw strands of raven hair. We were sitting inside one of the Highwind's cabins, on the bed. I started to move, but the arms looped around my waist tightened.

"I'm so sorry" I looked up at Vincent, confused as to what he was referring to. He touched my arms were he had grabbed me and I sighed sadly. I turned around so I was facing him, noting that he wasn't wearing his cloak. I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck, and resting my head on his shoulder again.

"We all lose control sometimes" I pulled away from him and rose, knowing we had reached Midgar by the heavy smell of mako and destruction in the air. I paused in the doorway, turning slightly so I could look him in the eye.

"There is nothing to forgive" I walked out, watching Cid boss his crew around. I nodded my thanks to him when he noticed me.

"Don't tell them where I've gone...I'd like to be alone for a while" He grinned in response and lit up another cigarette. Cloud was climbing down the ladder when he heard Cid's parting words.

"Say hello to the girl for me" Cloud paused on the last step of the ladder, then lifted himself up just enough so that he could see Cid.

"How...?" Cid grinned again, shaking his head in suppressed amusement. He waved me away, shoulders shaking as he flicked ash off the stub of his cigarette. I scowled at the chuckling pilot and dropped from the ladder to the ground. Cid had managed to land as close as he could without risk of the Highwind being damaged, and I clambered over the debris to Section 7. There was only a small amount of life, seeing as it was in the earlier hours of the morning, and I was able to get to Aeris's church without any trouble. The building was as I had believed it to be, still in one piece.

It looked nearly the same as when we had left it. The roof was more damaged, but it was in far better shape than the other buildings. I slid inside, closing the door behind me.

"The flowers are still here" I mused "Aeris would be happy"

"I am" I smiled; glad to hear the familiar voice again.

"Hey, Aeris" I smiled down at her amazingly corporeal face as she crouched next to me, touching her flowers gently. I was strangely unsurprised by her presence, only glad to see her.

"I was wondering when you were going to come and see me. I'm glad it is sooner, rather than later" Her smile was as gentle as ever, eyes just as bright.

"You know, then" Aeris nodded sadly.

"I've been watching you. I had an idea this might happen, and I've come up with an idea, based on what you read"

"About stabilizing the victim?" She nodded, gesturing for me to sit next to her. I did so, watching as she shifted, checking her flowers before turning to me.

"Vincent has been affected by Jenova also, has he not?"1. I blinked, and then nodded in reply "I think it is the monsters that reside in him are preventing him from being affected the way you do. He will survive without it, you will not" She pulled a weed out from the patch, throwing it away disdainfully.

"So...if I could find away to take a little of the monster's strength, there's a chance I might survive?" I asked her eagerly. She nodded and smiled, but it faded instantly.

"But before that, the pair of you need to sort everything out" She said sternly "You need more faith in Vincent, and he needs to let go of the past" She stood, dusting soil off her pink dress.

"Speaking of which..." I stood also, and hugged her, surprised to find her form solid "I'm sorry, for letting you get killed..." She shook her head, giggling quietly.

"It was my fate. Nothing you could have done would have stopped it. Besides, I'm better off in the Lifestream, in a sense. I'm learning things Mother could never teach me, and I can help in healing the planet" I let go of her, and stepped back as she was enveloped in soft green light. She raised her hand in goodbye, and her last spoken words clung to me as I turned away.

_'I'll be seeing you again, Cloud. So don't you dare give up on me or him'_

I clambered back over the rubble, blinked at the quickly setting sun. I had been in Midgar for a few hours, though it had only seemed like a few minutes. As I climbed up onto the deck of the Highwind, the near silence was unusual. Apart from the hum of the engine, there was little sound. I stalked down the corridor, determined not to be caught off guard. I glanced in the room, finding most people asleep or just staring into space. I greeted the few who were awake, asking the last person I spoke to, who happened to be Yuffie, where Vincent was. She told me he was in our room, following her sentence with a sly smile. I left quickly, wondering if Yuffie knew about Vincent and me. I shook it off, pushing the door to out room open.

"Vincent?" He turned from his position at the window, and I was struck by how the sunset matched his eyes. I mentally kicked that thought, and turned my attention back to him. I blinked in surprise when I saw him approaching, quiet as ever. His typical blank expression didn't bode well, and I resisted the urge to cringe in the face of his silence. I looked at him warily as the evident strain in the room grew. He was still some distance from me, and I was surprised again when he reached out and pulled me towards him,wrapping his arms around my waist. I hugged him in return, the tension in the room and in him vanishing in the simple gesture. I sighed, relaxing in his grip, feeling completely safe for the first time since Meteor.

"Vincent?" He looked down, concern flickering briefly in his face. I took a breath, not knowing how I was going to explain Aeris's suggestion to him "I have an idea..."

-

And I'm going to leave you there. It's cruel, but I'll try and give you another update as soon as possible. So bear with me, please. Actually, never mind the 'please' you'll get an update when you get one, biznatches! I'm going to stop with the rambling now...

1) I don't actually know if Vincent was injected with Jenova cells, I'm just saying he is, for this story (yes, the 1 is there for a reason!).

And I've explained why Cloud wasn't surprised to see Aeris, so no complaints, ne? She's a Cetra, and in my mind that gives her lease to do a lot of things normal people can't.


	7. Tying Together

I don't own Final Fantasy VII. The final chapter (as it's highly unlikely that I'll add and epilogue).

Chapter 7

"Vincent..."

"No. I will not curse you with my demons" I glared at the stubborn man and sighed in exasperation.

I ran a hand through my hair, glaring outside at the dark sky. Vincent was on the other side of the room, near the door. He had moved away as soon as I told him about what Aeris had suggested. It was as though just **mentioning **Chaos' name would make Vincent lose control again.

"Vincent, it's either this or death" I repeated, rubbing a crick in my neck. The pounding headache wasn't helping either. I rested my head on the cool metal of the wall near the open window.

"What if you can't control it? What if..." He stopped, obviously not wanting to think about it. I knew I wasn't going to win this particular fight. On the rare occasion Vincent put his foot down, very little would shift him.

'Weak' An inner voice taunted. This time I didn't protest, or even try to block the voice out. I stared blankly out of the window, not seeing the dark clouds that hailed a thunderstorm.

"I'm going out" I said decisively "Tell everyone not to follow me" I looked pointedly at him. I heard a soft whisper before I swept out of the room, climbing down the ladder with ease. I noticed the clouds now, but I was still unwilling to go back and face Vincent's disapproval.

* * *

"Cloud?" Aeris was back, eyes soft with worry. She walked next to me, a silent comfort with nobody else around. 

"He won't" I said finally, and she nodded as if confirming something "Vincent has had Chaos inside him for so long that he doesn't want to risk burdening me with him"

"You could-" I swayed on my feet and she stopped "Cloud?"

I was like I was going to collapse, but it was different this time, like something with digging it's way into my head. Red light flashed in front of my eyes, I reached out for the brightness that was Aeris, and fell.

* * *

/_Awake at last/_ I shot up, and frowned at the deep voice in my head. I paid no heed to it, however, when I saw the creature standing across from me. 

"Chaos" I growled. Chaos smirked and bowing mockingly, wings shifting to keep his balance.

_/In the flesh. With none of the...attachments/_ Another smirk.

"Attachments...you mean, Vincent, right?"

_/I separated from Valentine to pay you a visit. So for a while you're my host_/ Chaos gestured to their surroundings. I glanced around, recognising the twisted structures and mako-doused light of my sub-conscious.

"Why?"My hand eased off the Ultima sword, which had appeared atmy bidding.

_/You need a second chance at life, I willing to play along_/ A shrug of the wings and another smirk followed /_It's been a while since I've been in a swordsman. I miss the experience/_

"But-"

_/I'd still use Valentine as my vassal. You probably wouldn't cope, despite all the enhancements. I'll just lurk in the back of your mind. Amuse myself with your un-banished ghosts, that sort of thing/_

"Great. Another voice in my head, just what I need" I glared at the smirking demon "Why are you helping me?"

/_If you died, he'd lose his grip on everything. I don't want a madman for a vassal, takes all the fun out of it/_

"And, I take it, you know this from experience?" A smirk, and the demon released me from the confines of my mind.

* * *

"...oud" 

"...loud"

"Cloud!" I started awake, muttering darkly to myself about arrogant demons while trying to focus on who had spoken. Aeris hovered above me, rain falling past her softly glowing figure.

"Aeris?"

"You'd better get inside. Not much point in surviving the transition to die from a cold" She hurried next to me through the rain "I'm sorry I didn't warn you, I didn't feel him coming until it was too late"

"You knew" I glanced at her.

"I'm linked to everything on this planet, Cloud, even the not so savoury characters" the corners of her eyes creased in a smile "You'll probably feel like a wreak for a while, as your body has to adjust to having another presence inside it, but at least there's no one around to aggravate the problem. You should feel better after a couple of days or so"

"You seem to know a lot" She giggled before replying.

"We, that is, the Cetra, have seen this happen before. The planet shared its knowledge with me. She become very fond of you, you know"

Aswe neared the Highwind,I gave the slowly-fading Aeris a hug, fearfulI might not see her again.

"Take care, Cloud" She pulled away "If you ever need me, you'll know where to look. The planet knows all its children"

* * *

As I passed a mirror inside the Highwind, I glanced at myself. I looked like I had just gone through one of Mideel's storms at the peak of the monsoon season, which was pretty much how I felt. 

I found most of the rooms empty, and so I had managed to get changed without being disturbed. I padded down one of the corridors out of my uniform and into white t-shirt and black pants. I had asked the time from one of the crew (Eight o' clock in the evening, sir) and then had set out to find Vincent.

"Spike" Cid had grinned, slapped me on the back and offered a drink, which I declined "How are ya?"

"Better" I coughed, still winded from the hearty clap he had given me "I don't suppose you know where Vincent is?"

"Outside" he frowned "Brooding" I thanked him and climbed the stairs, going onto the Highwind's deck.

"Vincent?" He was perched on the railing, and gave me a dark look as I approached. I sighed, at leaned on the railing nearby, choosing to remain silent. The best way to deal with Vincent's disapproval, I had discovered, was to stay quiet until he voiced his reasons, or avoid him altogether. This, however, could not be pushed aside.

"So you are one of his vassals now, too" I winced at the bitter note in his voice, and sighed.

No. I get the sneaking suspicion that I'm just for amusement" At his glance, I added "I've got skeletons in my closet, Vin. And he's going to pull them out"

"You shouldn't have to deal with him at all" He slid off the railing, and stood over me, forcing me to look up. He had the advantage of a couple of inches, something which he used now.

"At least now we have time to deal with it"

I started to pull away at his silence, and instead he reached out and grabbed me, clutching at the small of my back to keep me there. I stopped pulling away, waiting for him to talk.

"I thought you'd die"

"I could have died plenty of times before" I frowned "Why this now?"

"Because it was happening slowly. I could see it coming"

We didn't move for a while after that. We clung to each other, even with the rain pouring down around us, and even with the shared demon, we stayed together. Even as we pulled away from kisses, we stayed in contact, fearing that if we let go completely, the other would fade away.There was no perfect, but this came close.

_Owari_

Can I mention that I've lost touch with this story a bit? Hopelessly sappy ending. Yes people, this IS the end of Clouds of Fate. Hope you enjoyed the ride; feel free to leave a comment!


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